A lot of people ask me “dramasque why don’t you just leave all the shitty bitty bits behind and start focussing on the real you, who you are and what’s making up the girl, the image and the story” I tell them it’s not about who I am but what makes me who I am and everyday I learn that those very things could destroy me too.
Moving on swiftly I start to realize that this people were right, no one person can go through life not hurting people. It is our duty as human beings of the world at large to hurt or be hurt by other people! We are our own keepers and putting trust in our friends or family is probably the most idiotic notion we can live by because everyday we make choices and those choices leave behind alternatives and one day, who knows, you might be an alternative.
I aim to please only myself this year. Last night I did the most liberating thing I thought I needed to do. I touched myself countless times, I passed my hand from my inner thigh all the way up to my belly and later on to my breasts and I touched myself. Granted, it wasn’t as great or succumbing as a man’s trick over you but then again, it was me and I had control over my own happiness. I trusted myself through and through and I knew that as much as I needed other people in my life I had the ability to block out the world and be happy, in this life, by myself.
So moving on swiftly, after all the pleasure washes away the pain I got to thinking that maybe, just maybe, my number one forte in life is justifying why things are the way they are and being there for people was just the practice I needed. I love to research and think and conceptualizer my thoughts I might start writing my own book. And god damn it will be a good one