Letting Go (part 2)


Hear You Me – Jimmy Eats World

Thank you for liberating me,
Freeing me from the clutches of commitment and desperation,
Emancipation of my own heart,
Dance of my spirit,
Dancing round and round,

I’m cured from this disease that has plagued me for 18 years,
Cured from false hopes and lies,
Cured because for the first time,
The dead soul within me cries and is heard by a choir,
A choir in heaven singing,
A choir in heaven rejoicing,

I know you miss me,
But so does the better part of myself,
That never fully was appreciated by you or anyone else,
I want you to smell the smoke,
And my hoarse breathing,
It’s me lighting everything you ever gave me on fire,
I let go with my mind 6 months ago,
I let go with my mind 2 years ago,
I let go with my mind 3 weeks ago,
I let go, but I lied.


This aroma filled with charcoal and destruction is my way,
Of ending my angel’s confinement,
So lost in the idea that I couldn’t get anyone else,
Manipulated by my girlish whims,
Betrayed by the dance of life,
Betrayed by me ego,

I’m taking it all back,
Leaving you behind with nothing,
And letting go,
I forgive you for being the jackass that left me,
You were blinded,
I was blinded,

Super Girl


I would have come back to you,
Dreams like whisps and spirits hanging on,
Dusty path swept underneath me,
Ashes of your shit lieing beneath me,
I’m taking my angel back,
Leaving you with nothing,
Letting go.

Change I caN’t bEliEve in


Chinese Symbol for Change


I twisted this saying to suit my own personal feelings, but Obama would be mad if I did. Yes,yes of course he would be. Fine, I’m dwindling between revealing this to everybody and revealing this to everybody. Oh wait, I’m revealing this to everybody.

Have you ever gone to a mall and all you cvan do is gap at the monstrousity of the building and the functionalities astound you. I have become a cave woman and for the first time I feel like my heavy judgments on life are going to bounce back and bite me on the ss(like 300 times because I honesty believe my ass needs atleast 299 bites).

Change I can’t believe in is also known as culture shock. Lets say you walk into a room full of people wearing gay-wage tshirts you’ll be like “shit!their so gay!the tshirts too!”. But it’s not about that, its about opening up your mind, not with fork and knife, but with patience and experience. So far I’ve used observance, critical thinking and a magnification of my own thoughts to summate my experiences and mentor them to you, my fans 🙂

But am i crazy?Or am i deliberately faking naivity??? I went into a mal; and gapped at a girl holding an icrecream cone! Not because it was vanilla and choc chip(which is by the way my all time favourite ice cream!) but because she was a HUMAN BEING in a public place, so relaxed, so at ease, blending in. sigh.. I want to be like her, you and the millions of other people enjoying the luxaries of day to day social living. It’s healthy.

I can’t believe I’m going to the University Within, things will be so much worse when I go there. Take for example when I was taken to a nice lounge the other day in the middle of the CBD. Of course I had to rush through the whole sipping-gingerale-and-acting-all-chilled-out-but-im-not part, but I was shocked, rendered speechless because I judged the Isle of Corruption and I said “damn these people their such zebras!”(zebras run in packs. get with the m.o.! 😐 )The CBD and my life, thought to be one big episode of “Survivor” paused and I relaxed. The ambience was so calm, the people so happy, the sunny glow hitting the tables and shining the afternoon summer time in- I couldn’t believe I was out of my prison, I couldn’t believe that this place not only surpassed my expectations but proved them wrong entirely. Admitting defeat is ok, joining in and changing is whats so scary.

Was I happy to leave that lounge? Get of that public transport vehicle? Leave the District of Nothing? Yes. I’m still really afraid

From All Good Things BaD tHings Stem


Like a flower attracts ugly,horrid bees. Is the same thing when it comes to my theory.
From all good things, bad things stem
I don’t want to be saddistic or anything but true to the fact, most people can’t help how they do things, what they say and how they think. Love, as i said, is not constant.It changes like our beings, ourselves and we become mirror images of what we never wanted. From love, stems jealousy, betrayel,lust and even,hate.
The world is spinning, thr orb is lingering, the feelings are NOT timeless.

Even education, where one person takes smarts to be an achievment of the highest value others say it could bring about overambition,overconfidence, vanity, boredom and possibly a life full of self-detest. I’m not trying to make you cry, I’m trying to make you realize how important absolution is.
If everything was absolute then there would be no need whatsoever to complain because there would be assurance and certainty over what we believe to be true and what we want to be true. Absolution is neccassary. But we don’t get that and neither do we get that the same girl/guy falling in love with us one day or fucking us cause their our lovers is actually a changing moment.

Socialism, how often do we see our friends come and go because their friendship became a sour betrayel, a painful lust, a daunting love, a fake promise, a distant past…I deleted my friends of facebook, at least most of them, the ones I kenw I wasn’t going to move forward with because it had reached a point where I kenw this friendship was past its due date, and any more perseverance or determination on my part would lead to a bad thing. Steve and I…bad thing. The fine line between being a confidant and being a lover grew so thin I couldn’t even see it. Now, when I talk to him on the phone, all I feel are his words piercing my back and the sadness that our friendship became a relationship in just a mere two months.

From all good things, bad things stem. Success becomes failure. Genious becomes madness. Hapiness becomes sadness. Hugs become punches. Marraige becomes murder. Food becomes leftovers. Alcohol becomes addiction. Sex becomes tiring….
the list is endless.
absolution…remains absolution. How do we gain that?