thErE arE no innEr circlEs

I find myself emptied off cognition,
I can barely understand,
These fuckin people try to run circles around me,
Do they think I can understand,

My brain has been functioning in locomotion,
Unfortunately the worst is yet to bare,
I feel a great burden lieing over me and the feeling makes me want to swear,
Unfortunately the worst is yet to bare,

Circumpants are like inner circles that sleep so silent,
A central thought within my head rings in alarm,
My friends are all I’ve got but are they really?
I feel like the alarm’s ringing’s in my head,

A chasm I try to avoid a point of violence,
My mad mind says “fuck u bitch I don’t care”,
The outer circles rotting and the inner ones nearly forgotten,
My mad mind wants to say “fuck you in your head”

I seem to have forgotten who my friends are,
Maybe that’s because their not like me,
A future friend indeed you are but will you stay? Oh no you won’t!
Indeed, maybe that’s because their not like me,

I ring, I text, I pout, I’m full of communication,
My relations think I’m nuts because it won’t stop,
But what’s a life without a little communication to drive the circumpants to their circles?
I beg to differ with my relations who think I’m nuts,

Like humans with no legs and monkeys appendix,
The screeching halt of avoidance comes to an end,
I beg to differ I am a little sad about this,
But my end would be avoided even if I was dead,

My inner circles change like rainbows on crack,
Simple things seem to me sort of wack!
But the great thing about this point of intimidation is that I can experiment,
Complex things mixed with colors are not so wack,

Blushing bride I wish there was a one in my world,
I’d be the bride n they’d sit and watch as I grow happy,
Miracle coming from a nowhere land of zion,
I hope the bride in me can grow happy, spunky, and back.

My inner circles grow like deep vines deep within me,
I’m tempted to control and yet dissolve,
Great things happen when you leave yourself to ponder and decide,
This game is wack, ill find a middle where I belong


Never say Never-The fray

Maybe I never said it before but I’m happy I have my friends. They help me see beyond my own sacriligious feelings and perfectionist mannerisms.

If any friend of mine is reading’ll know you mean the world to me if I haven’t already said it. The best part of friendship is that, for me, it can be measured with time, honesty and commitment.

I’m happy that I have long term friends, people who I don’t neccassarily see on a regular basis but people who will be there for me if I need, those who won’t tell me they quit.

Today, I wake up in the morning feeling a huge sigh of relief that atleast I have friends who know me and who’ll check up on me because thats what i need. It’s the most difficult thing to give up on people when I’ve experienced it before.

Sometimes I can’t let go of those empty feelings because I don’t want to give up on people like how Mutti gave up on me. I don’t apologize anymore, I stare blank cause I know she’ll expect the worst and think the worst. I can’t give up…but sometimes its best to let go. I can’t be consistent with my heart, It’ll be bruised.It HAS BEEN bruised time and time again.

My friends, the brains behind my mentorship. They know me well enough to slap out the self-incurred drama out of dramasque.

Don’t take your friends for granted and remember who said they’d be there for you and they always are.

Dedicated to Fedhi, Aflaf, Winnie, TJ, Mrs. Muscles! Tony, Martin and many of the people who know…

From All Good Things BaD tHings Stem

Like a flower attracts ugly,horrid bees. Is the same thing when it comes to my theory.
From all good things, bad things stem
I don’t want to be saddistic or anything but true to the fact, most people can’t help how they do things, what they say and how they think. Love, as i said, is not constant.It changes like our beings, ourselves and we become mirror images of what we never wanted. From love, stems jealousy, betrayel,lust and even,hate.
The world is spinning, thr orb is lingering, the feelings are NOT timeless.

Even education, where one person takes smarts to be an achievment of the highest value others say it could bring about overambition,overconfidence, vanity, boredom and possibly a life full of self-detest. I’m not trying to make you cry, I’m trying to make you realize how important absolution is.
If everything was absolute then there would be no need whatsoever to complain because there would be assurance and certainty over what we believe to be true and what we want to be true. Absolution is neccassary. But we don’t get that and neither do we get that the same girl/guy falling in love with us one day or fucking us cause their our lovers is actually a changing moment.

Socialism, how often do we see our friends come and go because their friendship became a sour betrayel, a painful lust, a daunting love, a fake promise, a distant past…I deleted my friends of facebook, at least most of them, the ones I kenw I wasn’t going to move forward with because it had reached a point where I kenw this friendship was past its due date, and any more perseverance or determination on my part would lead to a bad thing. Steve and I…bad thing. The fine line between being a confidant and being a lover grew so thin I couldn’t even see it. Now, when I talk to him on the phone, all I feel are his words piercing my back and the sadness that our friendship became a relationship in just a mere two months.

From all good things, bad things stem. Success becomes failure. Genious becomes madness. Hapiness becomes sadness. Hugs become punches. Marraige becomes murder. Food becomes leftovers. Alcohol becomes addiction. Sex becomes tiring….
the list is endless.
absolution…remains absolution. How do we gain that?