Deep Within

There’s a reluctance to feel what I feel,
And a denial to think the way everybody else thinks.
Because I believe in oneness. not uniqueness, oneness.

My thoughts just burn like ash and fern,
My mind lingers and I’m tired of waiting,
Waiting for the oppurtune moment of sacrilious sanctity,
Waiting for the time when i can fullfill my every desire.

But im alone, like a shot gun waiting to be fired,
Im alone, and the peace of mind I seek to obtain is nothing but a mirror image of my evil desires and boring oneness..

I can’t feel the floor beneath my feet,
I can’t feel the kisses and the shying eyes, the blush, the cognac seeping through my oesophagus, i can’t feel any sense of pride and devotion.

My devotion is to oneness as it is to oneself,
I am not selfish but filled with bitterness because I cannot fully committ to the ones i wish to comitt to,
And believe the ones i would like to believe,
I’m consumed, chasing dreams bigger than my show size,
Whoring my aspirations around and trusting those that don’t give a damn because there is determination,

I cut a slice of bread, eat it, and let it sink,
like the timeless series of emotions I should have gone through but never underwent,
Consumed with self-study and hating everybody,