Swiftly moving on


A lot of people ask me “dramasque why don’t you just leave all the shitty bitty bits behind and start focussing on the real you, who you are and what’s making up the girl, the image and the story” I tell them it’s not about who I am but what makes me who I am and everyday I learn that those very things could destroy me too.

Moving on swiftly I start to realize that this people were right, no one person can go through life not hurting people. It is our duty as human beings of the world at large to hurt or be hurt by other people! We are our own keepers and putting trust in our friends or family is probably the most idiotic notion we can live by because everyday we make choices and those choices leave behind alternatives and one day, who knows, you might be an alternative.

I aim to please only myself this year. Last night I did the most liberating thing I thought I needed to do. I touched myself countless times, I passed my hand from my inner thigh all the way up to my belly and later on to my breasts and I touched myself. Granted, it wasn’t as great or succumbing as a man’s trick over you but then again, it was me and I had control over my own happiness. I trusted myself through and through and I knew that as much as I needed other people in my life I had the ability to block out the world and be happy, in this life, by myself.

So moving on swiftly, after all the pleasure washes away the pain I got to thinking that maybe, just maybe, my number one forte in life is justifying why things are the way they are and being there for people was just the practice I needed. I love to research and think and conceptualizer my thoughts I might start writing my own book. And god damn it will be a good one



Deep thoughts in this dark hole where shrubs are born,

Forlorn, and torn …in to pieces,

The scorn of a woman as she feels unborn,

In a world of sin,

Boiling hunger and thirst in deserts plain,

The gain, and wain… of existence,

Rains down on my body and feelings sane,

Creep up on minds so innocent and pussies as wet,

I crept, and wept … as he left,

What’s a girl to do when she has nothing left,

Pussy wet and crevice deep, was so deep,

Hard to keep, seep..in to thirsty wounds,

I weep at dark and feel the lark of times left to reap,

Times left to regain in this world of pain,

I feel insane, membrane,.. can’t stop thinking,

As the trains, of time’s lanes pass me by and blame,

Curious George hands who find their way amongst the light of day,

I pray, the way..is clearly here to stay,

Long line, so divine as these fingers meet mine,

Sense of time in this moment, I am no longer lost,

In frost, at a cost of words..I gasp,men

The touch of newly born fingers creep, in this crevice so deep, i-m–l-o-s-t,

In pleasure mine with you in mind, strong hands so divine,

Inclined to sign, be mine..and let’s rock,

Up and down, Up and down all night like the fine wine we sip in sync,

The blinks of pleasure feel great as the wet over came my dry,

I cry in pleasure, sigh in pain…I am mine,

Wanting you to be here as I fine dine on my pine

Dignity / Sanity

Like tears of rain on a wet earth, I shudder at the thought of writing this post and feeling like what I’m writing is complete shit. But I write on.. you know why? because it’s all a question of examining WHY, and WHY did it happen.

Day in, day out I question why Martin left – that day I try to figure out the reasons why friends, particularly old friends, decide to call it quits. He was so cold with his text as if I spoke to him with a sharp tongue and all he could do to suppress his anger at me was to tell em to shut up, how dare he? who the fuck is he to talk to me like that? and what about our time in District of Prayer???My answer is that we grow out of the people we once were and try to become the people we always imagined we would be. It’s a silent agreement between friend and friend that this has to happen at this particular shitty time, when neither of us talk but agree that distance makes the heart understand. 

The passage of time is a strange thing and as I sat there thinking about what had made my relationship with Martin and many other friends I made in the Isle of Corruption sour, I began to contemplate that only I could have cheated myself that life wouldn’t take those people away from me. What were to be my greatest high school moments never happened and when it was time I was gone. Locked away in one way or the other by my situation, my parents, my environment, my own heart. 

I favor Dignity over Sanity any day. To me, Dignity represents walking away from a situation knowing that what you represent is more than what the other person can give you. Sanity underlines the measure of insanity you can experience before you need to placate yourself with a drug.. My addiction to the past has led me to this post, because of the challenge of dignity versus sanity, I stand here today puzzled by the mix of emotions that the past, ill-left behind and never resurrected, plays in my life as a whole. My friends and family would say “leave it behind, leave them behind”

Time heals all but why can’t it heal the complexity of this issue-when had we decided as humans to truly stop caring about one another and leave those remnants of our previous encounters, challenges, experiences, and escapades behind. Are we so sick as to never look back? Maintain your Dignity and move on because you are worth more than the situation can afford you, muscle in the pride and take a step forward instead of a step back into a new, righteous of life..that is fucking Dignity.

I can be insane-like a new fix i can be insane for you..i can be insane for you too, i can be crazy..text you and want you to want me but..


alas. i don’t care any more because you found the girl that makes you skip, that sets that smile in the morning and kisses those lips in the evening.


alas. you’ve found a great journey and only dignity and time can tell. I  hold my sanity in my hand and thank the god’s that I can leave and never return. It doesn’t pain it me it makes me realize how glorious life can treat you and give you a moment and time when you experienced somebody or something beautiful.. but nothing lasts forever and we must accept..i have to accept and i am accepting.


that it’s time to let go of all the complexity’s that made letting go so insanely hard. 


I have guided my heart into a brighter dawn.



Hyped up on an all- black coffee, no cream or sugar I am inflammable,
I am thinking big picture, big Apple, unstoppable,
From the beat of my heart to the glint in my eye the world pours over,
I feel crazed, like a wild animal, in the jungle, unstoppable,
Words play lightly on dancing finger tips and I watch these academics,
I am intelligent and think many things of the future,
Eating pizza, observing as the sweet olives melt away on grated Parmesan cheese,
I feel cultured, understanding the accuracy of tradition and the brilliance of time,
The passage of time is beneath us, I stand on cracks of earth whence one day in this earth America declared its independence,
I am patriotic but vigilant in my support of the constitution, the words,
Worsened by an ill economy but still bearing the symbol of religious African history,
I flock Ethiopia, I visit Kenya, I sleep in New York
More often than not I question the people’s who globalize,
Why not centralize? I am baffled by ignorance, I surrender to innocence, if we have the means- where are the ways?
Staring out into the wide expanse of fluffy clouds and the world beneath,
I figure out the meaning of a life well spent in a global village,
I ponder over the thought of my existence in a mix of eccentricity and freedom,
I fumble my way across nothingness,
For what little steps we take to change the planet when bigger strides are taken collectively,
My voice is heard like tiny whispers in a small village