Only Mind Can SepERate US

Follow Your Heart

Only Mind Can Separate Us
Only Time Can Swallow A Void,
Only People Can Destroy One Another,
And Break The Marriage they Adjoined,
I Beg To Differ,
My Brother’s And Sister’s,
There’s Only Hither,
Where Life Is Destroyed,
Peace Of Mind is What we Seek,
Piece Of Heart Is What We Desire,
Appeasing Those That We Think Great Of,
Peace Of Life We Never Get,
Only Mind Can Destroy Me,
Only Death A Burden I Fear,
Only Simplicity A Fate Un-chosen,
Only Something To Call My Own,
So I Find,
The Seams Unbroken By Untimely Love,
It Is Hard To Find,
I Doubt The Shadow Cast By It’s Unchanging Pink Hue,
Such Is Forgotten Of Good Days,
Such Is Forgotten Of Rainy Days,
Such Is Forgotten Of Brilliant Minds,
But Never Me, Love Is Hard To Find,
Never Me I Will Fight,
The Man In Mind Will Always Be Mine,
Never Me This Mind Won’t Find A Crack,
Because You See This Heart Is Mine,
This Heart Chooses,
Lot’s Of Causes And Abuses Seem To Happen,
But This Heart Chooses,
These Wired Worries Are Growing Weaker As This Love Keeps Getting Stronger,
Only Mind Can Seperate Us,
From The Good Things That We Have,
Only Mind Can Control Us,
In To Thinking What We Had,
Was Just A Mere Altercation,
Just A Stop Along The Way,
It’s Just A Phase You Think Is Awesome,
But It Won’t Turn Your Life Around,
Only Mind Can But Consume Us,
Into Thinking Of The Just Reasons,
But Love Has No Reason,
And I Believe In,
My Heart To Guide Me On This Journey,
Cause I Believe In Us

LesBiaN F3tiSHes

Before I went to bed yesterday I restarted my laptop and went on to one of the sites I knew would have what I was lookin’ for. As expected, it did. Lots and lots of lesbian pornography. An orgy of women with women and I was the excited viewer, watching and getting more and more excited as the minutes went by. I quickly scanned over my shoulder in an attempt to hide the devious act I was indulging in. Truth be told, I didn’t want anybody finding out I lived a double life.

Most people live life being dishonest about who/what their sexuality is. I want to be clear, it’s never been either/or with me. A big part of me grew up with the thought/suspicion that I might be bisexual. But, living with it, was even worse than having the thought itself. As you all know, I have been dating Mike since I came to the University Within. God knows, it’s been a long smooth ride up till now and he is so special to me, I couldn’t ask for anything else. But it’s always been there..

When I say it, I mean the fact that I watch lesbian pornography but I am attracted to guys. I always asked myself “does that mean I’m attracted to girls too?” But it’s never been that way. I never was attracted to any chics in reality. In real life, I see a guy walk past and that’s it for me. In real life, I don’t have any sexual feelings towards females. I watch lesbian porn because it is the only that excites me. Like eating a new danish, or trying on a new dress that nobody else likes. I am hetrosexual girl and I always will be. I am in love with my boyfriend and I have a fetish for lesbian pornography.

Your probably looking at the screen gasping and thinking to yourself “how could she say that?” “why would she say that?” I said it because I am done questioning my sexuality, I’m done living like I was torn between two human states. The fetish I have is due to the fact that I am in touch with my body. The female body is an exciting thing to look at, much more exciting than guys fucking chics on the screen. Furthermore, If I am gay So is everybody else who has watched hetrosexual porn because guys watch naked guys, maybe even two naked guys, fucking a chic. Isn’t that gay enough for you? Questions, questions. I guess with a lesbian fetish it is the result of missing a man’s hands on my body. I never watch the porn when I’m around my boyfriend or anybody else, it always creeps up on me when I’m most lonely and when I need somebody to hold me. My indulgence is the fact that I can see other girls please other girls the way I would like to be pleased. And rest assured, my boyfriend serves up good.

Have you ever felt that your interests don’t always define you. Yes, I like lesbian porn, I am not a lesbian. Yes, I like eating french fries without sauce, I am not a gross mother fucker. I am, unique and special in my own different way. These are the things I like, the things I want are part and parcel of my life.

Go for what you believe in. Do what you think is right.


Easy Invite

Some would say this semester I became Miss.Popular of University Within, but that’s not the case. I was known by a variety of people and let’s just say some of it got to my head. Namely, the part where my confidence was boosted and I thought approaching anybody with the same ease and libertum in which I assume my own life, would be as easy as A B C D. Not the case.

In fact, I realized that when talking to people, they are all quite different from eachother. Some live life on the edge and so are used to those who take the chances and risks of introduction. Some live life in timidity and feel that they are being interrogated by those they are approached by. Some live life on the cocky side of the bar and feel that it is their equivocal right to be pursued by hundreds of omen. These people are what I want to look at. And most people, sadly, end up falling in that category.

I met and athlete the other day who was full of tat whole -i-dont-give-a-shit look but as soon as I started talking to him there was mad-vybe going on there. Didn’t he also say he would take me to go see his church or something. ha! The player didn’t hesitate to take my number and neither did he hesitate to tell me he’d be stopping by later on. “no no don’t worry, don’t come to my room, I’ll just come to yours” Romantic, subtle, stupid.

The worst mistake any woman, or human being can do is assume that the cockier classes of our society do not notice the hidden details of our appearance. They notice more than anything else the slight movements you make, the things you wear and how you wear it. When some ladies out there remark “he doesn’t pay attention to anything!” WRONG. He pays attention to the part where he needs to get something out of that little dialogue session. For me and my athlete it was all a matter of “how lose are you’s” and a tint of “are you interetsed in me”. the guy never called back and he didn’t stop by. For a while I racked my brains over it, over and over again I thought why would this happen. But it made sense for him not to. The dividing factor was how well I presented myself, and I did not look easy. I realize that what you say to people reflects upon how close you want to get to them, especially how much you say to them. The reason most women seem to turn the hottest, humblest men away is because they seem to push too much. Yeh, I know you like the guy but don’t over communciate. men, evidently, look at more vybe, as more easy. The more she talks, the more she wants.

I’m not saying keep it boring, but keep it at a minimum. Some people seem to think that the more you say, the more passes they get to be in your life. It’s worse than spreading your legs and claiming complete, and total whore-ishness. The defining factor is, saying less is always best especially if you just wanna be friends with someone.

Turning 19

The worst thing about turning 17 or 19 is the indecisive thought that it neither falls in a certain category or personality. So I’m 19, should I eat pasta for 365 days?? Glee Master quoted that the best thing about being 19 is that its the last of your teens. How exciting. NOT

On my 19th birthday I woke up in a completely different place that wasnt the lime green 4 walls of my room. With a door for Vatti to come through and wish my a “very happy birthday”. Instead, this place was one of the most beautiful serene location I could think of and it was where Mike’s second home was. How awesome. I am spending my most weird birthday in a really beautiful location. Funny how life works..

I woke up to the sounds of new people talking in an unfamiliar, strange beautiful place. The greatest thing about this experience was that Mike’s family was so understanding of the fact that we were sleeping. Finally, a place I can go where “silence please” is not taken lightly. I told them it was my birthday and they wished me. We went for a swim and I thanked the God’s that the bikini I bought from Victoria’s Secret’s did not fail my 19 year old body. Yeyy! Success. Everything fit just right.This was a good birthday.

On the wooden block out on the lake, Mike and I lay down and stared up at the sun. Boy, what a journey to 19 I thought. I guess I get the real significance of this birthday. All the things I did and should do and have done all coming back in one slice of reflection. How philosophical. So I thought about the journey to 20 and how it has affected my life: Some things good, some things bad, some things disastrous and some things just awkwardly fortunate. How did I get mixed up with all this love-hate drama? And where was I going in this relationship with Mike? I concluded: Life’s lesson is not to be indecisive, avoid being confused and if you don’t know, speak and people will show you what to do.
I turned to the left at my blue-eyed boyfriend and for once in my life the 19 in me spoke out. Girl you a lady now.Chic you a Woman now. Start acting like your age.

I guess I already do that, but it’s the whole part of me that wants to hang on to something that isn’t part of my age-description anymore. Immaturity. The fruit of all confusion and oblivion.

After my suntan, I went to the shop with Mike and Nia, awesome birthday. The best thing was hearing my brother’s voice, Mutti’s lectures and Vatti’s concerned voice. I miss them all and I can’t wait to show them how big their little girl has become. Little girl no more. Mature lady here.

At night, the piece de resistance! Mike’s mum gave me a birthday that I would enver forget. She bought me a cake and Alas, the center of attention. It was awesome. She gave me a tote bag with lots of cool things inside it, a beach towel, salt water taffy(that was really damn good, come to think of it!too bad it’s melting in the boxes I packed em away in 😦 ), a tshirt with a LOON on it ^^, and birds bees honey. Such a wonderful woman! I am enevr going to forget how kind she did. And that stretch of kindness(however peculiar) was one of the sweetest things anybody has ever done to me. Mike or no Miek she made my birthday fab.

Turning 19 was inspiring for me, experiment-see the world. I had a 3.90 GPA and I was the President of an International Student’s Organization at the University Within. I haven’t smoked a single bong and my life’s a complete circle. I’ve got two hands, two feet, a beautiful body and the one thing I wanna do is learn mroe from the world. WORD OF THE YEAR: INSPIRATION. I want to be inspired and inspire others in my 20th year on this earth. 19 is no easy feat, it’s a time for progression in my opinion. It will cast itself as a shadow of 20 but the truth is, it’s the last teen, the last chance to grow. The way I see it-more life, more fun, more love..more stories.

I still wanna cook, travel, camp, work longer hours, do more laundry, make a strawberry sundae, fly a kite, bungee jump, try atleast 7 Kama Sutra Positions, Kick-start the ISO, Make babies, marry Mike, build a castle, buy a gold watch, say “fucku” to facebook. ride a donkey in Italy, hug Joyce and loads of other amazing shit.

The greatest thing Mutti and Vatti had done for me was given me the opportunity to come to LoO.I would’ve never started being this independent. Time to make the most of what I was given

K for killed by KiSs, K for Kould you Kindly Kall me

The alphabet is a marvelous thing and for some reason what’s in a name bothers me so. Whats with people who get attracted by a certain type of person with similar features from all those they were attracted to. I’m attracted to people with the letter of K in their name. What might you be attracted to?
Whats in a name? What is the significance of some letters in your name that play a huge part in the personality you assume? The scale I wanna provide for you at the bottom is for the purpose of seeing if any of it fits with your personality.

Letter A

Letter B

Letter C

Letter D

Letter E

Letter F

Letter G

Letter H

Letter I

Letter J

Letter K

Letter L

Letter M

Letter N

Letter O

Letter P

Letter Q

Letter R

Letter S

Letter T

Letter U

Letter V

Letter W

Letter X

Letter Y

Letter Z