I think, whats been bothering me is that today, as well as yesterday a certain theory and concept has come about me. I am no longer trying to understand why people fall in love. I already know. I’m trying to conclude why love is death…
Atleast from here, i know loves like falling, timeless series of crazy spradic uncontrolable feelings. That i get. And its the greatest feeling cause its new,bold and vibrant. Your enjoying the liberation of your heart and soul,the attraction to another human being both physically and emotionally fills us with desire, tempt and motivation.
I believe love is death because you dont fight the urge to fall for somebody, it just takes you. Just like how your own life is taken. But lets say, untechnically speaking love is the death of a part of oneself that can never be replaced. Individualism is a unique thing. When we love, we spend half the time thinking about a person, another half trying to please them. Your basically giving up your oneness for a mere human being such as your self. You lose individualism, hence your life is taken over by thoughts.
Love deep love, now thats the degree i’d like to focus on. Because deep love, means even deeper loss of oneself.Now people are not only thinking differently, their acting differently too. We begin to moderate our timings and become mere impressions of what would suit another person. Falling in love is not cheap because we figure, if i spend this much time wooing this girl, and another showing her how much i love her I’ll be complete.
I believe as i said before,love changes. And this is so sad because it happened to me. One minute Thor and I were dancing and kissing on the top floor, next minute his not there anymore. I’m beginning to realize the constancy of love only shows itself if external factors are not around. Love changes, people get busy and they have vacations, they have familiese and jobs and friends. Love changes.. I miss Douche too. You’ve got these periods of deep emotional comitment to a person then they break it because they cant take it. Yeh..love changes.
So love changes cause of the human race/nature. Then its basically no use falling when you know your gonna hit a tarmac floor. What guarantee is it that that person wont change and love you differently. My mind lingers, and I’m sadennes, it is not I that sacrifices so much for the human race, mere being such as ourselves, its you.
Death, i was there holding the wreath as they lowered my grandmother in to her grave. I watched it, it was oneness all over again. She lived alone, she died alone, she fell in love alone. And her love wasnt constant or meagre, it was full of hope,but people let you down. Just like how life, lets you down.
Love is death because there is no measure of how long the scars will stay, how long that body will stay in the ground to rot. It’s timeless. Yes, love is timeless but that doesnt’ contradict me when i said it changes. Timeless basically means the feeling of love will never be lost to that individual person. Changes means love between two being can change.
I watch as we lie and say, were gonna get married, were in love, pure bullshit. Because love with the externality of weddings,children and occupations can fuk u up.
Love is death because your selfsacrificing your mind,soul and body to chasing after meaningless pointless beings, who change themselves. Good thing is that even after that effort, its timeless, you fall again and again. I choose to want to not struggle because i believe love is a struggle and I don’t want to die, n die a lonely confusing death.