Change I caN’t bEliEve in

Chinese Symbol for Change

I twisted this saying to suit my own personal feelings, but Obama would be mad if I did. Yes,yes of course he would be. Fine, I’m dwindling between revealing this to everybody and revealing this to everybody. Oh wait, I’m revealing this to everybody.

Have you ever gone to a mall and all you cvan do is gap at the monstrousity of the building and the functionalities astound you. I have become a cave woman and for the first time I feel like my heavy judgments on life are going to bounce back and bite me on the ss(like 300 times because I honesty believe my ass needs atleast 299 bites).

Change I can’t believe in is also known as culture shock. Lets say you walk into a room full of people wearing gay-wage tshirts you’ll be like “shit!their so gay!the tshirts too!”. But it’s not about that, its about opening up your mind, not with fork and knife, but with patience and experience. So far I’ve used observance, critical thinking and a magnification of my own thoughts to summate my experiences and mentor them to you, my fans 🙂

But am i crazy?Or am i deliberately faking naivity??? I went into a mal; and gapped at a girl holding an icrecream cone! Not because it was vanilla and choc chip(which is by the way my all time favourite ice cream!) but because she was a HUMAN BEING in a public place, so relaxed, so at ease, blending in. sigh.. I want to be like her, you and the millions of other people enjoying the luxaries of day to day social living. It’s healthy.

I can’t believe I’m going to the University Within, things will be so much worse when I go there. Take for example when I was taken to a nice lounge the other day in the middle of the CBD. Of course I had to rush through the whole sipping-gingerale-and-acting-all-chilled-out-but-im-not part, but I was shocked, rendered speechless because I judged the Isle of Corruption and I said “damn these people their such zebras!”(zebras run in packs. get with the m.o.! 😐 )The CBD and my life, thought to be one big episode of “Survivor” paused and I relaxed. The ambience was so calm, the people so happy, the sunny glow hitting the tables and shining the afternoon summer time in- I couldn’t believe I was out of my prison, I couldn’t believe that this place not only surpassed my expectations but proved them wrong entirely. Admitting defeat is ok, joining in and changing is whats so scary.

Was I happy to leave that lounge? Get of that public transport vehicle? Leave the District of Nothing? Yes. I’m still really afraid

lies,lies and more lies

Why do we lie? Is it the feeling of deception that thrills us or are we failing as a human race to understand eachother? Are we scared? I’m scared and that’s the truth.

If you really love someone you are more likely going to lie to them to avoid the conflict. My opinion on that matter is don’t be afraid because these same negative feelings will subside once you give the truth time to heal. I was lied to once because the guy couldn’t bring himself to tell me that he was cheating. No, we can’t subject anybody to a false alibi. Think of yourself on the other end, would you want to be lied to?

From making excuses to hiding its a line of deception that we must surpress. When Ford lied that he’d been attacked by three guys in a city and singlehandedly fought all of them, I was angry because it was a tacky alibi. On a similar note i met a guy called Manip 5 days ago and he was already telling me he’d be leaving tonight for a university. We should make the most of this dramasque!we should meet dramasque!send me your picture dramasque!Ill miss you and im starting to fall for you dramasque!..he never left. I called him just now and he said he never left because his grandfather fell sick. He finally confessed he’d be leaving tomorrow for real. Did I believe him?I really didn’t care. I forgave him for being himself, a version of deception and cowardice that i couldn’t bring myself to EVER like.

I’m becoming smarter, lies should be believable. A special person in my life is currently lieing to me right now and I have no way of treating the unresolved impatience in my gut. That special person has stained the version of himself I once knew and loved. My mind is lost to confusion and the lies I don’t know of that seem barely believable torture my soul and make me despise him for the translucent truth of the situation.

Lies should never be told. Lets not run but rather seek to open up to one another. Are we covering up for what people don’t want to know about us?Are we ashamed of our true selves? The fact is lies always come out in the end and yes, it may not exactly be the type of truth people want to hear but it will help you seek fullfillment. Once you have sought fullfillment you can appreciate things in life with an honest viewpoint.

Lies build up, mine do everyday. I lie to this person and I have to lie to another person again. Mutti and Vatti don’t need to know of my runaways but it gets overwhelming and I get tired, i get stressed,dont you? We must remember that just like anger takes up the best part of you so does the lie governing your every action. If you don’t like this person just say it because you will always live behind the lie you told he/she in order to avoid them. Release the weights.

Lies protect you for some time but it wont make sense when your doing it for devious purposes. Cut a tree, plant 3. Lie for selfless reasons. A selfless reason can be classifies as something you do for other people either than yourself. Selfish reasons are noted above.

Lies, lies and more lies-im no expert but its definately something to think of