One nIght StAndS

I was talking to Curtis on 2go and it made perfect sense when I said it. Now it makes even more sense. The topic of One night stands is a recurring factor in all topics of randomness and fun. Why? Because its the physical, sexual illustrative part of just being a free human being. I read this help-column on a website once and I thought I’d share it with all of you so I can better explain my point.

Dear Dr Cath,
I’m getting married in three weeks but I recently had my stag weekend in Prague and it got a bit wild.
One drunken evening I got chatting with a girl and ended up having sex both with her and her friend while four of my pals looked on.
I’ve never cheated before and feel really bad.
Now one of my mates is really angry and is threatening to tell my fiancée.
He’s always had a thing for her and I think he’s trying to split us up. What should I do?

Dear reader,
There is no doubt what you did was a mistake – and now you need to minimise the consequences.

This basically sums up my view on one night stands. Yes, it feels good! and yes, its tempting to say the least but what does the totally of the action incur upon your life and exactly how will it benefit your pyschological well being?

I remember one day I had an encounter with a guy about a one night stand because we were actually planning it and he said to me, he says ” you need this,it’ll be good for you, to release the tension from your life”. I almost did it in that car with him, what a tangled web of manipulation and deciet God weaves for us.
I stopped myself but I stopped myself because I was scared, not because I didn’t want to but because I didn’t know how to go about doing it and acting cool about it.

Later on, I realized that that was a completely miss-the-bullet answer. Winnie and I talked today and she told me she had her first one night stand with a guy who’s been hitting on her for about 3-2 months. He caressed me, he touched me, he kissed me, it was random and it was fun. I realized that I couldn’t do that even if I tried because the REAL reason behind my fear was not for my bodies sake it was for my dignity’s sake.

You can have a one night stand and forget about the relationship you never had, be with someone and feel on top of the world. You can be like Winnie and I and decide you wanna forget that your cheating, lieing, ex boyfriend by releasing your frustrations sexually. Is sex a means of getting even? No.

I believe a one night stand is more for a guy then it is for a girl because girl’s, whether we like it or not, pay attention to detail. These moments that define us are what fill our dreams as we sit in our peaceful corner and think about how he held me? the things he said? and my oh my am I happy i don’t have t show I’m commited, I can be single, hip and carefree. Lets face it ladies, we want the princess ending and the guy with the bouquet at our doorsteps. Excusing this fantasy by having a million one night stands is not going to change the fact that you can never measure up to your fantasy if you continue treating sex like an object.

I like to say sex is a hobby, an interest, a basic form of entertainment that each and every one of us can indulge in. Chicken makes me happy, ill eat chicken and I’ll also have some sex to go. But one night stands cannot be the resolution to everlasting fun or heartbreak or lonliness, it is just a means of betraying our emotions and once its over it gets confusing again and the reality of the situation( the REAL situation dawns on us)

I can’t just have fun and be happy? Yes you can, you can have loads of fun but why make your body feel ecstasy when you obviously know your thoughts are the brains behind every operation. And sooner or later like the light at the end of the tunnel we’ll resolve to be celibate because our brain waves take over and now we suddenly want to stop playing around. I wish my cousin Natasha would read this note.


Never say Never-The fray

Maybe I never said it before but I’m happy I have my friends. They help me see beyond my own sacriligious feelings and perfectionist mannerisms.

If any friend of mine is reading’ll know you mean the world to me if I haven’t already said it. The best part of friendship is that, for me, it can be measured with time, honesty and commitment.

I’m happy that I have long term friends, people who I don’t neccassarily see on a regular basis but people who will be there for me if I need, those who won’t tell me they quit.

Today, I wake up in the morning feeling a huge sigh of relief that atleast I have friends who know me and who’ll check up on me because thats what i need. It’s the most difficult thing to give up on people when I’ve experienced it before.

Sometimes I can’t let go of those empty feelings because I don’t want to give up on people like how Mutti gave up on me. I don’t apologize anymore, I stare blank cause I know she’ll expect the worst and think the worst. I can’t give up…but sometimes its best to let go. I can’t be consistent with my heart, It’ll be bruised.It HAS BEEN bruised time and time again.

My friends, the brains behind my mentorship. They know me well enough to slap out the self-incurred drama out of dramasque.

Don’t take your friends for granted and remember who said they’d be there for you and they always are.

Dedicated to Fedhi, Aflaf, Winnie, TJ, Mrs. Muscles! Tony, Martin and many of the people who know…