Thats what i believe love has become. In not so maby words I learnt the other day that whatever hapenned to me, hapenned to loads of other girls my age, my situation,my purgatory.
After i finished my graphic design course yesterday a girl was crying, she sat next to me and cried a full 1hour,nonstop..why?because her boyfriend and her were gaving problems communicating with eachother after one year of being ina relationship. Hela,the girl, explainedd that she was also in purgatory.locked,trapped, and in love.her first sex partner was her boyfriend and she didnt want to lose him. She was IN lOve with him. And just like me and winnie, she’d given him her all.
Up till this day, my past haunts me to some degree, a time when i was happy, a memory of my innocence, an enjoyable naivity. My past flashed across my eyes,’he’ was there..and as Hela relayed her story I saw a window open at the back of my mind. I saw myself crossing the road in the District of Them,sacrificing, like them,the little I had to give to save my relationship.
Why did hela cry when she’d given up so much?why did she cry out of exhaustion?why did the final curtain call of this ‘almost perfect romance’ with this ‘almost perfect person’have to end?
I realized it isnt about why it happens or who it hapenns to, its about learning from mistakes. And every choice we make whether new or old is a mistake. Even the most confusing and different of them all: LoVe. Love is new and bold and full of thousands of expectations and limits, but it isnt ours to dictate. It is ours to experience and learn from.
Heart break before your barely 25 is inevitable because the very concept of newness and experience excites all of us. And when its not exciting us, its scaring us away. We all are in search of something.
Hela, winnie and i need to believe in human self and worth. We grow up with a challenge to be our own person. And expect things from the people around us. Qualities that make us better, qualities that influence us ina positive way. But not to control these feelings we have and not control the love we are experiencing. Its about acceptance that this was a phase…and that these forces of nature divide us and make us stronger.
Don’t cry. Believe you can do better the next time.