ok,why was this day so weird?…ok,wait,not this day but a few hours ago,because i know what i heard that receptionist said in the afternoon ‘sorry,your class has been scheduled to begin next week monday’…ok,do i just jump and run around with the knowledge that i know and my parents don’t..exploit for all its worth..purgatory,temptation,n most of all…FREEDOM!!
HEHE,this is great,but also really overwhelming…so my friend came over and we talked it over.I’m goin to proceed with caution,i must..this next week is going to be one of exploitation and exploration.ill go see Douche and all my other friends!!even steve!
But heres the thing.as i talked this over with steve,it became apparent that he thought id be humping somebody over the course of this liberal epiphany of a week….Douche…why not…
But then i thought of something…i want to see people,im doing this so it can make the next few months of my life bearable..make purgatory bearable!!Im also doing it to be happy…for this split second i wanna be happy again.
The torment of remmbering my x in my life just does not help.ok,stuff lieing to Mutti and Vatti,yeh i did,call the kenyan army…i need to,i need to do this,for the peopke who matter,for me…
But responsibly,as i said,the freedom is not mine,it is my parents,having my own space is so much more than having my own time to do shit,it goes beyond phyisical obtainence…i need to be in charge,i need to be able to excercise my right,where ive EARNED IT..not only financially for alcohol n clothes,n trips..but mentally..breaks,days where i can sit around n chill out knowing i worked for my time.
Im growing up..n its the scariest feeling in the world…wish Mutti and Vatti knew whats going on in my wittle head.